Welcome Agony
Warning: Depression, death, self-hate, loss.
I have some pretty angry things written from when… well, from when. I held onto my grief for a long time… still do, kind of. This is… sort of how that felt, as best I can put it.
It gets better, they say
Well, fuck that, them
This pain is mine, and
I will never let it go
So let it consume me
Memories raw, immediate
The sense of you
Never fading
Like the light in your eyes
The light in your eyes
The light faded
Faded as I held you
Held you as you died
No
This despair I feel
Is my penance
It is killing me
But I welcome this agony
Because
Because I know
I am afraid that if I let it go
Your memory will fade
And I will lose you
I will lose you all over again.