I remember my younger self
Knowing that I could never be enough
Perpetually dissatisfied, despairing
My unworthiness writ in every failure.
To she who struggled with despair
Who sought unattainable perfection
Trapped in a cycle of self-hatred
Looking for peace that would never arrive:
Listen
You have ALWAYS been enough
And you ARE worthy of love
Perhaps if I tell you then
Someday, I'll believe me too.
This is non-fiction personal musing, nothing super exciting. If you want to wait for me to write fun fictional things then perhaps this is not the entry for you. Nothing sus, but there are mentions of weird occurrences that may not appeal to people firmly rooted in the rational.
Evils once contained
Have broken free of their prison
And fascism, cruelty
Are ascendant, have risen
In mythology, heroes
Kept their darkness at bay
But reality's crueler
Complacency created these days
“Take a day or two to feel sorry for yourself when the worst happens, and then… figure out how you are going to win.”
That is my advice to myself in most things. Sometimes life goes off the rails and everything sucks and the temptation to just throw up my hands and surrender is tempting. But I mean, I’ve never learned how to give up, not really, and my sliiiiight stubborn streak refuses to allow me to quit. So yeah, maybe stuff sucks at the moment and maybe I’m having to work out a plan. But… there is good in this to be had, you know?
Like…
There's enough doom and hopelessness to go around, but I'm not inclined to roll over and submit. I'm better than that and, you know what? So are you. :–)
Viral, that's what I am
Words shifting perspective
Reason as a cancerous growth
Poison, seeping into your system
Truth, that deadliest of toxins
Operating from the shadow you cast
And taking you down, cell by cell.
So I've been like.. too busy to write for a little while, and I've been pretty out of inspiration too. River shared this prompt tho and hey, maybe it will help? And thinking about it, maybe I could use prompts to write a little too.
River's original shout out on the fedi here, and her response here.
Why did you start blogging in the first place?
I got bored and ran out of snacks?
Jkjk. I needed somewhere to post longer stuffs and a blog made sense.
What platform are you using to manage your blog, and why did you choose it?
Right now I use write.as because it does not get in my way. Originally I was using it to federate but that feature is kind of meh in the writefreely system (not really conducive to engagement) but it is still the best for my purposes.
I might swap from write.as to self-hosted as part of my “give me back all of my things” quest but like... we'll see.
Have you blogged on other platforms before?
Yes.
Oh wait was I like... supposed to elaborate?
Okay so yeah I have obv used Wordpress before, not the like... commercial version but the installed version. If posting short stories on Masto counts, I have done that too. And I have “blogged” on paper too. I know how Tumblr works but I refuse to confirm or deny if I have ver used it.
How do you write your posts?
I dunno, it depends. It can be anything from a scrap paper or a notebook and a pen to a text editor to Standard Notes to actually using a word doc to just like.. writing it directly into the system. Whether I revise is really up to the thing I wrote... sometimes things are ready right off, sometimes I need time to tweak them.
When do you feel most inspired to write?
When I have free time and when my emotions are high, whatever they are. Or, sometimes... I just get a fully formed story and I HAVE to write it, it is not about inspiration so much as it is about something that WANTS to be read. So I am just the medium, I guess.
So get my emotions high?
Do you normally publish immediately after writing, or do you let it simmer?
It really depends. Like... for poetry, I might spend some time tweaking it the same day, but most of my poetry is fueled by the moment so if I wait to write it, I lose the heart of it. So those are pretty much written while the emotions are fresh.
For stories, they are not always shared. Throwaway stuff I do not mind sharing as-is. For 'important' things, I let them sit so I can work on getting the wrong parts closer to correct. Like... those things that want to be read HAVE to be correct. And sometimes I do not know what is wrong, so I have to wait to understand.
For spicy stories, it is usually a few days. I try to make the interactions feel right, feel real, so I spend time making sure the interactions are correct. And I mean to be real I need at least a simmer of ...well, you know... to make it work. Writing for alternate me is easy, writing for other people takes a lot more work because I'm very much into making sure I portray them correctly (and yes, there is sometimes field research involved.)
What’s your favourite post on your blog?
Probably my Masks poem, that was one that just needed writing. And my favorite story, well, I have not posted it yet bc it is not right.
Any future plans for the blog?
Contemplating splitting off some stuffs, we shall see.
Who will participate next?
Whoever wants to! So probs no one.